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Top Signs Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You With Your Best Friend

By Nick Bastion


Your boyfriend cheating on you is a horrible thought. But your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend? That’s the ultimate betrayal, on so many unimaginable levels that you cannot even begin to explain. I am going to take you through some of the major signs that indicate that he could be cheating on you with your best friend.

The Top 6 Signs He Might Be Cheating With Your Best Friend

He Has Called Her Pretty Before

Has he ever said anything about whether she is pretty or not? If he’s called her attractive in any way, this is obviously an indication that he could at least have some physical attraction to her.

Is She Single?

This alone is not enough to signal that he’s cheating on you with your best friend… but consider whether she is single or not. If she’s single, it obviously means there’s an opportunity to cheat. Even if she isn’t single, though, it’s still possible that some kind of cheating is going on. If she’s in a relationship, think about whether she’s happy in it or whether she complains a lot.

She Has Told You Something Complimentary About Him

Has she ever said something to you implying or overtly saying that your boyfriend is attractive? Maybe something like “omg you’re so lucky.” This is an indication that leans toward him cheating being a possibility. Again, this alone means nothing, but if you look at the other signs (specifically, his own behavior) you can start to put the pieces together and make a judgment call on whether it seems likely that he’s cheating.

He Asks About Her A Lot

Does your boyfriend ask about your best friend a lot? Like… Way too much? This is obviously a sign that his interest goes above simple curiosity. Think about whether he ever brings her up without you even saying anything. This is a sign that he could be cheating. I’ve actually written a lot about this, you can find more drop dead giveaway signs he’s cheating here right now on Vixen Daily.

He Acts Weird When Around You Two

Does he just act odd when he’s around both of you? Do you get a weird vibe when you’re hanging out that you didn’t before? This is a sign that he could be cheating.

Your Best Friend is the “Type” of Person Who Would Cheat

You obviously know your best friend (or at least, think you do). Does she seem like the type of person who would cheat or does it literally seem impossible?

The Top 7 Signs He Might Be Cheating With Anyone

He Hides His Phone From You

Is he being unusually secretive about his phone lately? Maybe he used to leave his phone lying around, but now, all of a sudden… he’s extremely private and weird about his phone. Maybe did not have a passcode before and now he does. Maybe his passcode was set to turn on after 15 minutes but now it’s set to immediately. Maybe he gets super nervous if you’re using his phone for any innocent reason.

He Seems Nervous Around You

Does he seem nervous and uncomfortable around you and act weird? Or does he almost go out of his way to be abnormally nice? This is a sign that he could be cheating.

He is Acting Different Than Usual For No Apparent Reason

Is he all of a sudden acting a lot different than he usually does? Is his behavior “off” in some way? This is a sign that he could be cheating.

He Doesn’t Have Sex With You Anymore

This is obviously a big indicator that might mean he’s cheating on you, check out this article for more signs. Unless there is something else going on in his life that’s causing him to lose interest in sex, then this is a big sign that he might be cheating. There are obviously other reasons that indicate that he might not be having sex with you anymore, but this is definitely a sign to consider.

He Makes More of an Effort to “Groom”

It’s normal for a guy to groom and do things like wear cologne, get a haircut and other good stuff like that. Different men will have different grooming habits. So think about his typical grooming habits and compare that to the way he is now. Is he all of a sudden putting a lot more of an effort into his appearance and grooming habits? If so, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.

Your Gut Is Telling You He Is

This is an important one. Listen to your gut instinct. Do you just have a gut feeling that he is cheating (try this article for more on knowing for sure) but you don’t know why? Sometimes your gut is what you need to listen to. Really think about what your gut is telling you.

He’s Secretive About Money

Is he all of a sudden spending a lot of money? He might be spending it on dates or drinks or whatever else he could be doing with another woman. So if he’s all of a sudden secretive about his finances and making an effort to hide things from you, it’s a sign he is cheating.


Sex After Infidelity

By Gemma Crooke

For most couples, one of the basic, fundamental aspects of being in a long-term relationship is sexual monogamy. When this vow is breached through a physical affair, recovery and reconnection can be very difficult. But with 65% of couples allegedly choosing to stay together following an affair, the statistics suggest that it can be overcome. However, the emotional aftermath can affect the relationship in many ways for a long time to come… not least in the bedroom.

Following the revelation of an affair you may think that sex is the last thing on either party’s mind. However for some couples the sudden prospect of losing one another can see them becoming instinctively drawn to one another and engaging in the type of passionate sex that their relationship may previously have been lacking. More commonly, though, a sexual rift is formed. Intense feelings of frustration, disgust, betrayal and sheer hurt may mean that the injured party can never imagine being intimate with their cheating partner ever again. Each couple is different and their response to sex following infidelity will be governed by their own moral compass, feelings and desires.

If you have been the victim of an affair and have chosen to forgive your partner, here are some things to consider in order to make your erotic recovery as successful and painless as possible.

Be kind to yourself

Although rebuilding the relationship will be a joint effort, in the early stages it is important to focus on yourself so that you are mentally, physically and emotionally strong enough to move forward together. On a practical level, it is important that both you and your partner are tested for STD’s. This will not be a pleasant experience but it is necessary. The stress of such emotional upheaval can also take its toll on your body so take care of yourself by eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest. Emotionally this will be an extremely tough time and many couples find that psychotherapy or counseling is needed to help them work through the painful emotions of such a betrayal. As the injured party you may find your ego takes a big knock and find yourself questioning your attractiveness and worth. Reject these thoughts and work on rebuilding your own self-esteem through self-care and even taking up new hobbies and pastimes to create and showcase your own achievements.

Be honest and practice empathy

In order to start rebuilding your relationship it is important to communicate fully and frankly with one another about your pain and your expectations. In the early stages this may be done through angry exchanges, emotional outbursts or passing the blame. Eventually though, you need to work on creating empathy and understanding why the affair happened and how you have both been affected by it since. Only when you can truly begin to validate your partner’s feelings and gain at least some understanding of what it’s been like to live in their world can you truly move forward.

Don’t compare

The temptation to compare yourself to your partner’s lover is hard to avoid. Of course you will be plagued by thoughts such as ‘were they more attractive than me?’ or ‘were they better in bed?’ But this is a fruitless and destructive thought process that will only lead you into further torment. And with studies indicating that the majority of married affairs occur due to feelings of inadequacy, life challenges and depression, it is likely had nothing to do with your sex life anyway. If you want to move forward sexually it is important to concentrate on you and your partner and banish the memory of the other person from your lives. If you continue to have intrusive and reoccurring thoughts about the other person then speak with a therapist about the best techniques to effectively deal with them.

Take time

Do not feel pressured or rushed into embarking on a sexual relationship until you are ready. For some couples this may be sooner than others. They may find that sex is a way for them to physically express the emotions they are still unable to verbalize. For others, trust will need to be built and re-established before they feel the desire to be intimate with their partner again. Be clear with your partner about your feelings and listen to their expectations and hopes for the future too.

Work towards a new sexual relationship

Many people say that following an affair their relationship is never the same again. Indeed this may well apply to your sex life too. But in some ways it can be a positive thing. Moving forward with erotic recovery gives you the opportunity to be completely honest about your relationship and discuss elements that you feel could be improved upon. Together you can forge a new, more fulfilling sex life that is better for both of you. After all sex is an expression of love and if you are able to make it through the upheaval of an affair, your sex life afterwards should reflect the emotional dedication that you have for one another.


Interpreting Confusing Signals: How Can You Tell If Your Husband Will Cheat Again?

By Caroline Madden

It’s happened. The worst thing you could’ve possibly imagined in your marriage – your husband cheated.

He claims he is sorry and will never betray you again, and he is begging you to trust him. The problem is: You aren’t sure if you can do that. The bottom has fallen out of your world, and you’ve spent every ounce of energy you have trying to decide if you are willing to try again.

To make things worse, your husband has been sending you mixed signals. Much as he claims he wants to make the relationship work, he keeps doing things that seem shady to you. You’re confused, because he seems to be sincerely trying to recommit to you, but these particular actions make you question if he “gets” how much he has hurt you.

My name is Caroline Madden, and I specialize in Affair Recovery as a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). I understand how much pain you are in, and I want to help you interpret your husband’s actions.

I’m going to assume you already know the basics. For example, if he’s still in contact with his affair partner, you’ve got reason to be concerned. Instead of dwelling on the obvious, I’m going to address three things husbands often do (after you’ve caught them cheating) that can muddy the waters. It is my hope that this helps you determine if your husband is sincerely recommitted to you or not.

1. You keep finding out more details through drips of truth-telling.

You think you’ve heard it all. You’re trying to heal and move on and then wham! You find an old e-mail or letter that shows you more details that you didn’t get the first time.

You confront him about it and he admits to more than he told you initially. You get angry and deal with it, but boom! Repeat. You discover more evidence yet again.

This may happen time and time again, but in most cases this happens because he was afraid to tell you the entire truth all at once. He feared you might leave if you knew everything, and he truly wants to just forget what happened and move on.

When to be concerned: You find information that indicates the relationship with his affair partner is still continuing.

When not to be concerned: You’re finding information that is old news. Maybe he was more involved than he let on to you at first, but there’s no evidence on continuing contact.

2. He is upset that you are telling other people.

It’s very natural for you to be upset when he gets angry that you’re telling people about his mistakes. You may feel that he has no right to dictate your reaction, given how deeply he hurt you. But if you’re trying to fix the relationship, it’s valuable to take a step back and consider that his desire for privacy might be grounded in his desire to protect the relationship.

He likely doesn’t want the information to get back to your children, who may be scarred for life if they find out. He certainly doesn’t want your family to know – even if you forgive him and move on, they probably won’t. He may fear for his or your family’s safety if his affair partner’s spouse finds out about the infidelity – potential danger or social repercussions could ensue.

When to be concerned: If he gets angry with you for confiding in a trusted friend or a therapist. You have the right to vent and get support as you work through the situation.

When not to be concerned: If he asks you not to tell his affair partner’s spouse, his boss (he could get fired, which hurts everyone involved), or the kids. He is probably just protecting everyone from serious damage.

3. He says “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

You find yourself constantly trying to understand and to gain some closure or clarity on how or why it happened. To him, it sounds like talking in circles or like he’s being punished.

It may feel like he’s telling you to just get over it, but most likely he simply feels like you’re stuck and doesn’t know how to help you heal.

The best thing to do is to self-reflect for a minute. If you actually are asking the same questions over and over again, you probably need to see a therapist to help you move through this. You may need expert advice to determine if the relationship will work or not and to help you recover from the trauma of discovering the affair.

When to be concerned: If he actually says things like, “Get over it” or “The past is the past – let it go,” you should be concerned that he isn’t truly remorseful or doesn’t understand how much he has hurt you.

When not to be concerned: If he says he doesn’t know what else to say to help you, or that he has already answered your questions to the best of his ability, he’s probably truly at a loss. He knows you need help to work through this, but he doesn’t know what else he can say or do to fix things. He probably is afraid that discussing the same questions over and over will only make things worse, and he wants to repair the relationship with you, not rehash the painful past.

About the Author:

Caroline Madden, MFT is an Affair Recovery specialist and the author of the following books:

Fool Me Once: Should I Take Back My Cheating Husband?

After a Good Man Cheats: How to Rebuild Trust & Intimacy With Your Wife


Forming a Healthy Relationship Online When You’re In Recovery

By Gemma Crooke

Have you ever noticed just how much of your dating life is conducted in smoky bars and clubs? From that first date drink to the affair conducted under the cover of darkness, it’s likely that you will have been on a date to a bar (or on several dates to several bars) at some point during your dating career. If you’re a recovering alcoholic or simply don’t drink alcohol for any reason, this can make the dating world difficult: whilst you may be happy to enjoy a coke whilst your date is sipping on their beer, many people, particularly men, find the concept of drinking alone to be problematic. And if you haven’t been in recovery for long then you may well not want to go into a bar or club and stare temptation in the face. During the early stages of alcohol recovery being around other people drinking really isn’t a good idea: even if it is your only chance to meet and date the person of your dreams! However there are other options available: such as online dating. Online dating is a wonderful option for recovering alcoholics and provides a wonderful way to meet new people.

The Wonderful World of Online Dating

Dating when you’re a recovering alcoholic can be very difficult. When is the right time to tell the person that you want to date that you have a history of alcoholism? Is it better to be upfront straight away? Should you leave it until your third date, your fifth date? Many people shy away from these kind of uncomfortable conversations in the flesh, but find them much easier to have online when they have time to think about what you want to say and how you want to express yourself. It’s easier to be upfront and let your potential love interest know everything they need to know about you very quickly, including the things you find difficult to talk about. If the person you wish to date doesn’t want to meet with you in real life because they are turned off by your past then you also have the advantage of knowing this before you invest any real time and emotions into the potential relationship.

Find the Right Match

When you’re meeting people in a bar you are going in blind: you know that you like the way a person looks before you deliver that initial chat up line but nothing else, not even their name! Online dating gives you an immediate advantage though; you can indicate clearly in your profile than you don’t drink and you can even make it clear that you only want to be contacted by non-drinkers or people who only drink occasionally in your profile. This means you don’t have to have that immediate conversation when you see a profile you’re interested in and it also means that you won’t run the risk of starting to date an alcoholic, something with could have negative effects on your own recovery process. When you’re heading to a bar with your friends to meet new people, it’s highly unlikely that you will meet someone that doesn’t drink: however online dating helps you to widen the net and find someone who matches your very precise criteria.

Online dating also allows you to take your time getting to know your potential match and then when the time is right for meeting each other in the flesh you will know each other well enough to know that meeting in a bar is not a good idea. This will help you to protect your sobriety and give you the opportunity to try another fun date option: after all, how much fun can you really have on a date in a bar when you could be holding hands on an ice skating rink, snuggling in the back of a movie theater or even indulging your foodie impulses in a delicious restaurant instead? There is an assumption that the best dates take place when you have a glass in your hand, but actually, sober dates can be so much more unusual, exciting and fun!

This is a freelance article from Gemma Crooke.